ढुङ्गा अनि बतास

आउँछु नभनी आयौ
जान्छु नभनी गयौ
सायद म ढुङ्गा बनें
सायद तिमी बतास बन्यौं
ढुङ्गा अनि बतास
त्यो इतिहासको भद्धा मजाक थियो
.........................................
कोरिएका बेमेल रेखाहरुझैँ
यत्रतत्र छरियौ हामी
जब रंगको कोलाज
बिनाअर्थ पोखिन्छ क्यानभाषमा
जीवन जीवन नभएर
कविता बन्दो रहेछ
तीमी एक कविता
म एक कविता
सायद दृस्ठिकोणको आफ्नै मैफिलमा हराएका
दुई कविका दुई कविता बन्यौं हामी
तिमै तिम्रै मैफिलको राजा बन्नु
म मेरै मैफिलकी रानी बन्नेछु । 

प्रेम

         कतै सुनेको थिएँ लेख्न सबैभन्दा सजिलो विषय प्रेम हो र सबैभन्दा गाह्रो पनि । थाहा छैन प्रेममा खर्चिएका मसिहरु  कति हाँसो र आँशुले सिँचित छन् । समयको कठिन परिधिमा निस्सासीएका मानिसहरु किन प्रेम भन्ने बित्तिकै उन्मुक्त हुन्छन्? कति कुरा गर्न लजाउँछन्, कति प्रेम गर्छु भन्न डराउँछन् र कति पक्षिहरुझै आफ्नै प्रेमको उडानमा पर पर पुग्छन् । किन प्रेम आफैँमा पूर्ण भएर पनि अपूर्णझै हर प्रेमीहरुको इन्द्रेणीमा अर्को रंग बनेर घुल्छ ।
         प्रेम गर्नु भनेको कोमल हुनु हो । प्रेमको इतिहास कोमलताको इतिहास हो । कसैलाई तिमी कमजोरीसहित अपनाउँछौ, उसका गल्तिहरुमा हाँसिदिन्छौ र फेरी अर्को मौका दिन्छौ र कठोरताको कैंचीले उसको उडानलाई रोक्दैनौ भने त्यो प्रेम नै हो । तिमी हर  कसैलाई प्रेम गर्न सक्छौ तर प्रेमको बदला प्रेम नै म्याथको र्फमूला  माइनस माइनस प्लस जस्तो नहुन सक्छ । प्रेम गर्दिन कहिल्यै प्रेम गरिन भन्नेहरु पनि प्रेम गर्छन् । प्रेमको मैफिललाई नकार्नेहरु  जीवनको संगित र सिम्फोनीलाई पनि नकार्न सक्छन् । नर्कानु अर्को कुरा  तर कसैलाई प्रेम नै गरिन भन्नु मिथ्या मात्र हो ।
        हर प्रेमीहरु सुन्दर गुलाफ हुन् । प्रेम गर्न गाह्रो छ तर पनि उनीहरु प्रेम गर्छन् । कसैलाई प्रेम गर्नु भनेको आफ्नो जस्तै अर्को मानिसको अस्तित्व स्विकार गर्नु हो । प्रेमको लडाई इगोको लडाई होइन यो त  अपनत्वको लडाई हो, आत्मास्विकृतिको लडाई हो । प्रेमिहरु जस्ले प्रेम गर्छन् एकअर्कालाई ति संसारकै सुखी मानिसहरु हुन् सायद सुन्दर पनि । त्यसैले यो भूमण्डलको सबैभन्दा सुन्दर चीज त्यो केही हो भने त्यो प्रेम हो मात्र प्रेम ।
       मानिसहरु प्रेमलाई सम्बन्धसँग जोड्छन् र पो प्रेम कुरुप बन्दैछ । प्रेम प्रेम नै हो । सम्बन्ध र प्रेमबिच तात्विक केही सामञ्जस्यता छैन । यी त जीवनका छुट्टाछुट्टै स्वतन्त्र वृत्तहरु मात्र हुन् ।   प्रेम गर्नेसँग जीवन बिताउँने इच्छा प्राय सबैको हुन्छ तथापी यीनीहरुको  आ–आफ्नै सामाजिक, आर्थिक र धार्मिक चौघेराहरु छन् । हरेक प्रेम सम्बन्धहरु बिवाहमै गएर अन्त्य हुन्छन् भन्ने छैन । यदि प्रेम र सम्बन्धको गहिराइ नाप्ने हो भने प्रेमको गहिराइ सधैं गहिरो हुन्छ र हुनेछ । सम्बन्ध त समाजले बनाएको मापदव्ड मात्र हो । यसको मूल्याङ्कन   सायद अर्थशास्त्र र समावशास्त्रले बढि गर्ला । त्यसैले प्रेमको सुरुवात र अन्त्य दुवै बिवाह हो भन्नु चल्तिको भाषा बोल्नु मात्र हो । सबै बिकेका र स्थापित बिचारहरु ठिक हुन्  भन्न म सक्दिन ।
         कवि, चित्रकार, लेखक, कलाकार यी प्रेमका हिमायतीहरु हुन् । प्रेमलाई अभिब्यक्त गर्न खोज्नु  आफ्नै पाखण्डलाई आफ्नै शिल्पले छोप्नु हो । शब्द र कलाको भाषा बेगर प्रेमको अस्तित्व कहि कतै छ भने त्यो मौनतामा मात्र छ ।  प्रेमीहरु बिना भाषा पनि बोल्न सक्छन् । ठिक बिपरीत त्यही मौनतालाई कविले कविता बनाउँछ, लेखकले कथा बुन्छ, चित्रकारले चित्र । त्यसैले आफू भाषामा बोले पनि कसैले मौनतालाई प्रेम गर्छ भने त्यो कवि, चित्रकार, लेखक मध्धे कोही एक हो ।
        प्रेमको भाषा संसारकै सुन्दर भाषा हो । नबोलेरै बोल्नु भनेको संसारको बहुरंगी कोलाजबाट सुन्दर मौन सिम्फोनी  निकाल्नु हो । हुनसक्छ गीत गाउँनु, कविता लेख्नु, अभिनय गर्नु, चित्र बनाउँनु, मूर्ति बनाउँनु सायद प्रेमकै भाषा बोल्नु हो ।

Life - a Cliche

Sometimes more than anything else I found the word itself quite interesting one. Offcourse word does not only mean syntagmatic form but also the connotation of it. Today, I am going to talk about the word “cliche”, maybe it is a beautiful word for many people. I don’t know why but it has a quite negative effect on me.

The word is hunting me for many days. Recently, I asked one of my closest friends, “What is your opinion about cliche?” His reaction was quite normal although I asked him suddenly out of the blue. He told me in which sense are you asking me? I said to him in general. Then he replied- what you are saying. it is itself a cliche. Somehow I convinced on his opinion. Dictionary defines it a stereotypical opinion or phrase but in a larger sense, we can see it in our thought process, system of governance and also in a bureaucracy. I think we all are the product of cliches because we hardly raise question over the existing thought process, culture and discourses. And we accept the beauty of the same stereotypical and overrated opinions and phrases, for example, boys are boys, brave as lion, every cloud has a silver lining, everything is fair in love and war so and so. However, the world can be more democratic and equal if we cross the so-called boundaries of cliches.

When I was totally into cliche, I found one beautiful quotation about it, “The problem with cliches is not that they contain false ideas, but  rather they are the superficial articulation of very good ones.”  And my take on cliche is not totally different than this. If we deny the depth of anything and we accept the superficial aspect of that particular thing than it is a cliche. We can see these kinds of cliches everywhere, dining hall to parliament, local market to shopping mall, wallpaper to newsroom. And I considered myself a cliched form of everything.

I am talking about cliche and I am forgetting the “Samuel Beckett”, it is not fair enough. When I think about it, obviously I remember him and his characters. The funniest thing is that when I think about his character I  take life as a cliche. Indeed life is a cliche, I tried to redefine it but I couldn't.  However, I always say it’s better to be unsung than to be a cliche.

Voiceless Month

I have always believed that the starting of something signifies the upcoming days. But the starting of 2019, has been quite unlucky to me. The world was eagerly waiting to welcome the new calendar. Like others, I was also anxious to welcome the new English calendar with new hopes. Unfortunately, the body mechanism was also waiting to welcome the new mechanism in the body. The same day I welcomed the lonely silence in my body and I lost my old friend voice.

            When we are healthy both emotionally and physically we take everything as granted. We never realize the importance of everything whatever we have. But after losing it we realize the importance. It happened to me too. I always take my voice as granted. I never think can I manage to live without it? However, the new year has given me a new bizarre surprise, the same day when I was waiting to welcome the new caleundar. First two days, I was quite confusing. I thought that it is happening because of the chilling climate of Kathmandu. Soon, I will get my voice back. After the third day, I started becoming more anxious and restless. After visiting a doctor I was hopeful and I thought that I will be fine after a week like how we will be fine after a week-long fever. But every disease is different and we need to cope with them differently. Laryngitis is a nightmare. When you welcomed it ’s very tough to say goodbye. I am saying it with experience. The doctor said to me its laryngitis, you need to take complete voice rest. Voice rest, as a teacher it was again more challenging to me. How can I teach them without using my voice the same thought came to me when I heard the word voice rest. Although I was hopeful of being fit and fine after a week-long voice rest.  A week, somehow I managed because after that we had ten days winter vacation. Again I was hopeful of being healthy in that ten days vacation. In the vacation, I went to my hometown, the voice was also quite recovered than starting. But the process of recovery was quite slow. When I came back Kathmandu, emotionally I became more week than physically. It’s because the recovery was very slow and I thought that maybe I never get my voice back. Even I thought about quitting my job.  Now, I am quite better still hard to feel completely healthy.

            Everything has its own pros and cons. I already said laryngitis is a nightmare. But still, I find the interesting sides of it. When we have our so-called voice, mostly we miss use it. Especially when we need to use it for our bread and butter. I did the same. Now I realize as a teacher many times we misuse it. We listen less we talk more. And when we talk more students also start ignoring our voice, because we repeat the same thing time and again and we do not listen to them. The thing which is boring, no one wants to listen. Mostly, it happens in the classroom even though we hardly realize it. After laryngitis, I value silence more. In other words, I value voice more. Moreover, voice and silence are the two sides of one coin. If we use them beautifully we can’t be boring and uninteresting.

कविता

शब्दहरुको सिमाभित्र
तिमी अटाएनौ
मैले पानाहरु खाली छोडिदिएँ
आज जीवनका पानाहरु पल्टाउँदैछु
देख्दैछु सफा सेता पानाहरु
सायद......
मैले लेखेको पहिलो कविता तिमीनै  थियौ । । 

बजार

सबैले भनिदिए
बोल्नेहरुको सबै बिक्छ
आज बिक्नेहरुको भिडमा
मौन कथाहरु पढ्दैछु
बुझ्दैछु
बजार बजारनै रहेछ
अब नबिक्नुप्रती कुनै पश्चताप रहेन।

यात्रा

तिमीले भनेझैं 
यात्रा गर्न  सजिलो रहेनछ
आफ्नै डोबहरुमा आफ्नै पाइलाहरु राख्नु
आफ्नै क्षितिजमा आफ्नै सपनाहरू खोज्नु
आफ्नै प्रतिबिम्बमा आफ्नै छांयाहरु निहाल्नु
आफ्नै मस्तिष्कमा आफ्नै अहंकारसित तर्सिनु
बोरु सारै सजिलो त
यात्रा नगर्नुनै रहेछ।।