Dream

“Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes”  this is my favorite quotation so far. But sometimes it’s hard to articulate what we really feel. I think I am not good in speaking. So, writing has always been a very good medium to express. Today, I am going to talk about a dream. It’s a very slippery word, it makes you fall down many times. So does with me. Sometimes I think it is the greatest irony to talk about dreams. It’s a ridiculous thing. But I am doing this ridiculous thing.

Last time my small school kids asked me, “Ma’am what was your dream when you were like us?” And next one said,” She wanted to be a teacher so she is here.” That was a very difficult moment. I think the most difficult one. I did not want to tell lie but at the same time, I could not tell truth too. As usual, I smiled and said  I love books so I am here to teach you. I couldn't tell them the reality because I always tell them to follow your dream and do what you love. In a way, I don’t want to see my children doing those things what they do not want to do like our generation. We are bound to surrender with many other realities before our dreams. But  I don’t want to see their failures.

 Finally, I am jumping into the main topic that is a dream. The dream is that thing which you aspire for, which you want to do, which you love to do. I think it’s a beautiful word but very slippery in its action. I think I am not wrong by telling dream changes according to time. But dreams are dreams. You have always guilty if you don’t follow dreams. At least you need to try it once without thinking about failures. Like my small school kids, I too had dreams. Still, I have. When I was a child,  I wanted to be a newsreader. At that time NTV was the only national tv chanal of Nepal. And we use to follow a lot. At that time Rama Singh was probably one of the influential news readers. So, as a child, I wanted to be like her. She was the greatest aspiration to me at that time. Even after finishing my SLC I studied journalism because I wanted to be like her. I think that was my first dream. Now, I don’t have guilt and regret because at least I tried to follow it. Time changed the way I perceive the world is very different now. My aspirations are different. Now what I aspire is very different than that time. But somehow it’s very hard to say I am following my own dream here in Nepal. We need to think about many other basic things before our dreams. Now I have more inclination with the creative world, the world where I can express my stories in a creative way because stories are always my inspiration. In fact, I want to navigate the world with my own stories. I like to tell my stories because I strongly believe, Mira Nair's statement, “If we don’t tell our own stories no one else will tell.”

As a woman sometimes I feel we have many challenges to follow our dreams. Sometimes the family expectation is so different it can be challenging. But, financial independence is the first, foremost thing that always makes you more confident to meet your own expectation. I think I am quite lucky enough in this case because my parents never forced me to do a particular thing. They liberate me to be a freethinker and allow me to navigate the world on my own terms. They respect both my weakness and strength. And because of them I always feel I am the master of my life. I always celebrate my uniqueness like my unique dreams. So, keep on believing in your dream  although it can be slippery