Sunday, April 22, 2018

Last Year

It’s already 8th of  Baisakha and I still, cannot go away from the hangover of 2074. Time never goes back.....but sometimes it can be. Still, I am living with 2074 and yet this feeling has refused to go away. So, I am going to talk about 2074, the year which has given me many memories to remember and many lessons to learn.
            Last year this time I was in Gorkha. So, I want to start with Gorkha. Now I am remembering those days in Khadka gaun especially those last days when we were about to return back. I would never forget the love, respect and everything which I  got and learned from there. And I always think 2074 is special because of Gorkha memories. Memories are nothing without people and their stories. Jasper, Bikesh Dai, Freya, Daisy, Hardika,  Bhawana, Hannah, Saroj, Radip, Daniel, Michael these are the wonderful people who made 2074 very memorable. Jasper! I learned many things from you, especially how to be nonjudgemental. And I realized we can be friends although we have pretty different personalities and backgrounds because of you. Bikes dai! I learned many things from your personality, especially how to be silent at the same time very productive and constructive for the work. These days I am trying to work like you. Freya, by seeing you I realized being different makes the world interesting. I want to be an avid reader like you.  Daisy, I consider you the most intelligent member of our group, it’s my pleasure I got chance to work with you. Hardika, I love your confidence. If I can I would like to be as confident and as assertive as you but I know I cannot. Bhawana, Saroj and Radip, you people gave me the respect and love like my brother and sister. I feel lucky because I met you. Hannah, Daniel, I want to be as hardworking as you.
            In 2074, after completing my ICS journey I returned back Kathmandu with lots of confidence and hope. At that time I thought that ICS experience gives me many platforms to work with the international organizations. Then, I applied for both VSO and Raleigh team leader. Also, I applied for UN- Women intern and for other organization. Unfortunately, I did not get any platforms. I think I was free almost 2 months. Those two months were challenging but not so much frustrating. At least I had little bit hope. Then, I started teaching because I wanted to be independent both emotionally and financially. But teaching has never been my dream job so at that time I felt that  I fall down in a different world.  The world where I never imagine one day I would be there. In teaching, everything was new to me although I am the daughter of two teachers who passed their entire life talking about teaching and education. I think the first two-three months of my teaching were the most difficult and frustrating phase of my life. At that time I used to think each day is a new challenge. Those days were very difficult in terms of many things. That was the time when I suddenly lose my confidence, hope, university hangover everything which I had before. And the realization I am not good for it although you came from that background where you never felt these kinds of experience is very unbearable. However, this kind of experience teaches you many things in terms of personal development and professional too. Now when I think about it I realize we human being need some kind of motivation and inspiration in our life to go further. And we need to revisit the past to learn from our own weakness and strength.

This is all about my 2074 journey. I hope 2075 will be more fruitful in terms of my personal and professional growth.  I am equally thankful to the people I encountered and the stories I heard in 2074.

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