"Honesty is the Best policy"

It is easy to write about your own experiences but at the same time, it is difficult, to be honest. It is difficult to portray very personal experience on a  public platform. It needs guts. Although, it is all about the process of being honest. I think it’s a beautiful thing. Indeed, honesty is the best policy.

          Today, as always, I am walking with the same motto  “honesty is the best policy.”  Most of my close relatives and friends are quite familiar with my unfamiliar nature that is I am so bad with those things which are called social one.  I never feel comfortable in public gathering and functions. So, most of the time I feel very uncomfortable to talk about social institution because I consider myself very unsocial one. However, today I am going to talk about a social institution that is about marriage because I thought that I should talk about it.

          I don’t know how sociology and anthropology define marriage although I have been the student of them. Maybe they take it as a social institution. Maybe may not be. I am not sure. But my take on it is  purely personal one. Purely individual one. Well, I was thinking to write about it for a long time but I already said it needs courage. Finally, today I feel that I can write about it.

          When you became 25 the most common question people ask you is “when you are getting married?” It is more common in case of women as if you have nothing to do except it. I am writing this because of my experience. And the funniest thing is to see their reactions. They react like your life is worthless because you are single. Sometimes I am quite surprised to see their reactions.

          Recently hajurama told me, “Aba ta pani love gar, sabaile love garera bihe garisake.” Then I said, “ Ma ta bihe nagarne” I was in a very light mood and reacted like this but for her, marriage is everything because she never sees life beyond this. But for me the thing is different. I cannot see my life just for marriage. From childhood, my perception about marriage is different. I never see myself as marriage material. The main reason behind is that I wasn’t like that girl who was supposed to be easily likable. I wasn’t a pretty one, who was the star among relatives and friends. I was out of the box in every category. Maybe that is the reason, I never thought that one day prince will come and take me in far dreamland. I never take marriage in that way. From childhood, I have been rereading this institution from a very different perspective. Sometimes as an outsider, sometimes as a very critical and cynical thinker.

          Now, everyone says that I am in the marriageable age. But I don’t what is the right age. However, as always I become quite cynical when I think about it. Everyone says it’s the beginning of a new life. Although I always found this very complex institution because still, marriage is more about ownership rather than partnership especially in case of women. I have seen many wonderful ladies around me who left everything, wonderful career, many dreams just to save this institution. But it is wonderful if it is all about partnership rather than ownership.

          Again I am going to wrap up with my own point of view. As a woman,  I got a wonderful father, brother, and friends in my life. I feel fortunate enough because I am nothing without them.  Believe me, I am not anti-male.   But I don’t know why I found this institution a little bit odd one. Problematic one. Little bit regressive one. Maybe it is all about my misconception.