म त्यो चित्र हु कसैले नकोरेको 

सायद आफैले पनि नकोरेको। 

रातो गुलाफ चाहेको दिन 

तिमीले मलाई कालो बादल उपहार दियौ 

कालो बादलले मात्र बिनास गराउछ 

भो प्रिय मलाई छोडिदेउ।  

# कुरो 

त्यसपछि पाउनेछौ हामीलाई

हामी डिजिटल क्यामराका फोटाहरु होइनौ

जहिले जहाँ पनि हेर्न सकिने 

हामी त अदेख्य भएर पनि देख्य छौँ  

हरेक कुर्चीमा, पोडीय़ममा, प्रमुख आतिथिको ब्याज 

लगाउँने हाम्रै सन्तानहरु हुन्। 

होला तिमीले देख्न सकेनौ होला हाम्लाई मूलधारमा 

म पनि मान्छु त्यो 

हामी त केबल मौफसल हौ

अझै पनि खोज्दै छौ केही अस्तिव, अधिकार 

र थोरै स्वायतता। 

हामी लडिरहेका छौँ  कुर्ची नभए नि 

त्यही समान अधिकारको लागि 

के तिमी दिन सक्छौ मौन स्वीकृति 

हामीलाई नदेखे दुर्बिनले हेर 

हामी स्कुल, कलेज  र घरहरुमा प्रसस्तै छौँ । 

आकलझुकल भए पनि कहिलेकाही 

पत्रपत्रिकामा पनि छाउँछौँ  

बोलायौ भने कवि गोष्टिमा पनि जान सक्छौँ  

बोलाएर त हेर 

हामी पनि तिमी जस्तै मिठा मिठा कविता भन्न सक्छौँ । 

थाहा छ यो तिम्रो साहानुभूति हो 

अब सहानुभूतिले मात्र पुग्दैन सम्मान पनि दिने गर 

सम्मान मात्र होइन कहिलेकाही 

हाम्रा  लागि बोल्ने पनि गर 

त्यसपछि पाउनेछौ हामीलाई प्रध्यानध्यापक देखि प्रधानमन्त्रि सम्म। 

चिया गफमै सिमित तर्कहरु 

भट्टिमा नै रुमलिएका आदर्शहरु 

परम्परा हुन् हाम्रा 

इतिहास हुन् पुर्वजका 

पशुलाई मानिस बनाउँनु 

र मानिसलाई पशु ठान्नु 

यो पनि हाम्रै सस्कार हो 

हाम्रा अग्रजहरुले सिकाएको 

ठूलालाई मात्र कति दोश दिनु 

म पनि त्यहि सिकाउदैछु 

मेरा सन्तानहरुलाई 

बाघ हुनु र बाख्रा खानु ठिक हो भनेर 

बाघ मात्र होइन म त

सिंह बनाउदैछु मेरा सन्तानहरुलाई 

सिंहदरबार भित्र छिर्नु अनि कहिल्यै 

बाहिर ननिस्कनु भनेर। 

 म सधै सोच्छु

म किन कमला बन्न सकिन

र पचाउँन सकिन

आफूँभित्र आइपरेका समस्याहरुलाई शान्त मूद्रामा

 ऊ त बुद्ध हो

अहिशा चाहन्छे

ऊ त गान्धी हो

राष्ट्रीयता चाहन्छे

 ऊ बनाउँन सक्छे अर्ध आकार

कृष्णलाई पूर्णकदको

ऊ जन्माउन सक्छे

आफूँजस्तै सानो शान्त कृष्णलाई

ऊ गुँलाफ हो

काँडाबिच पनि सजिलै फूलिदिन्छे

ऊ नदिकिनारा हो 

छालहरुलाई सजिलै सहिदिन्छे

ऊ सिन्थियालाई

दुश्मन ठान्दिन

 देख्दछे दुश्मनमा पनि 

शिवको जस्तै अदभूत सौन्दर्यता 

तर म किन बन्न सक्दिन कमला

सिता र गान्धारी जस्तै

र हेर्न संसारलाई

मात्र माया र प्रेमको नजरले

भो छोडिदेउँ जुलिएट बन्न

भो छोडिदेउँ जुलिएट बन्न

भौतिकताबादको दोसाधमा उभिएर
जुलिएट बन्न खोज्नेहरु
आफ्नो धरातल त हेँर
अझै कयौ मदनहरु लासामा हराइरहेछन्

त्यही मदनको प्रेमिका
तिमी कसरी जुलिएट बन्न सक्छ्यौ
बरु फालिदेउँ त्यो आडम्वर
र हेँर पहिलेकै त्यही मुना बनेर

तिम्रो मदन अझै मदननै छ
तिमी कसरी जुलिएट भयौ
फालिदेउ त्यो देखावटिपन्
र बनिदेउँ फेरी प्यारी मुना

बरु तिमी मदनलाई घर फर्काउन सक्थ्यौ
३३ प्रतिशतको उपायोग गर्न सक्थ्यौ
कृषी मार्फत  क्रान्ती गर्न  सक्थ्यौ
भो छोडिदेउ लगाउँन सुन्

वरु फलाउँ लसुन र अदुवा
पढाउँ प्रौढशिक्षा
भो छोडिदेउँ जुलिएट बन्न
जसले बनाउँदैछ तिम्रो मदनलाई कसैको दासी

हिड्छु यो सहरमा

म  भन्न सक्दिन तिमीलाई
म दुखी छु भनेर
तिम्री छोरी बदनाम
भैसकी भंनेर

न पोख्न  सक्छु मेरो कथालाई
सबैले पढ्ने उपन्यास वनाएर
न लेख्न सक्छु आफ्नो ब्यथालाई
छन्दात्मक कविता वनाएर

हिड्छु यो सहरमा
बिना कुनै लक्ष्य , गन्तब्य
आफ्नै लहडमा आफ्नै गतिमा
मान्छेहरुको भिडमा एक्लै

न बताउन सक्छु यो समाजलाई
म कसरी बदनाम  भए भनेर
म कसरी लुटिय भनेर
मेरो कसरी चिरहरण भयो भनेर

त्यसैले बाच्दैछु  यो सहरमा
फालेको फोहोर जसरी
न कसैले देख्छ मलाई न कसैले सोध्छ मलाई
म कसरी लुटिय र बदनाम भए भंनेर

About Love

Date 2071-03-26

Nirjala Adhikari

Writing of the Day

I want to start my writing with the saying of Maya Angelou, “ I do not trust people who don.t love themselves and yet tell me ‘ I love you’. There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked people offers you  a short.” While taking about love, it,s more than word. It,s difficult to define the word ‘love’ because it has more value on feeling than saying. Everyone have different feelings while she or he is in love. But before loving others we have to love ourself. Love yourself and watch then you obviously seems your life beautiful.

But loving ownself is a great deal. Many people are not able do this because they are not ready to accept themselves whatever they are. Although, they are seeking the love of others in their life. That is one of the greatest illusion of human life because if we should not love ourself then how should others able to love us. So, I am always fascinated by the saying of Maya Angelou which I already mentioned above. Infact loving ownself has greater value then loving others. Only those people who love ownself able to give love to others.

There are different kind of love which we found in our life. The unconditional love of parents, caring and warm love of brothers and sisters, kindful love of friends as well as different kind of love of life partner. All those types of love given by different people have different kind of taste. Although, different kind of love is hooked on different kind of relationship. Sometimes we do  make lot,s of mistake which might ruined our relationship. But mistake is a single page of life but relation is a complete book. So, don,t loose full book for a single page.

According to Osho,” IF you love a person, how can you destroy his or her freedom? If you trust her or his freedom too.” I am so much impressed by this saying of Osho because if we are  in love with someone then we have to accept his or her all the vice and virtue too. We have to respect his\her freedom too because he\she love himself\herself rather than other. So, loving somebody is somehow is loving ownself. That,s why before loving someone we have to love ourself.

In a nutshell, love yourself and love others. Being in a love is good thing. It gives us motivation, inspiration and positive flavour. So, love yourself and watch. You  definitely found your life beautiful.

नगरबधु

नगरबधु
कसरी भन्न सक्छौ  तिमीले
मसंग  हिड  भनेर
आमाको दुधलाई थुकेर
बावुको विश्वासलाई तोडेर

कसरी सोच्न सक्छौ तिमीले
म तिम्री मायालू  मात्र हु भनेर
म कसैकी छोरी , बहिनी , दिदी पनि त हु
के म यी सबलाई त्याग्न सकूला

कसरी बाध्न सक्छौ तिमीले
त्यो तिम्रो चौघेरा भित्र
उडीरहने पन्छीजसरी दौडीरहने  म
के म बाधिन सकूला त्यो तिम्रो जन्जीरभित्र

कसरी सोध्न सक्छौ तिमीले
मेरो अस्तीत्व र पहीचानलाई
तिम्री आमा म अनि यो धर्ति एउटै जराका बोटहरू  हौ
के म बताउन सकूला मेरी अनि तिम्री आमाको अस्तित्वलाई

कसरी बोल्न सक्छौ तिमीले
मेरो यो पेसा पाप हो भनेर म एउटा नगरबधु हु भनेर
के तिम्रो जन्म अनि मेरो जन्म यै पापको फल होइन र
अनि म कसरी नभनु म एउटा नगरबधु होइन भनेर  

Who am i?

Date:- 2071-03-16

Nirjala Adhikari

Writing of the Day

I always feel life is mysterious. Everyone has own mystery. Noone able to know others life fully. If anyone told you that he understood you then that is only hypocracy. Nothing more then that. If someone asked you who are you? Then you became puzzled while giving answer. Like the Sophie of Sophie’s world. Till the date I don,t know who am I. For my mom and dad I am their daughter, for my brother I am his sister, for my friend i am their friend and so on. But for myself who am i? What is my identity?

As a female, sometimes I even questioned myself what is my identity? Our society, culture , tradition, religion never provide us or own seperate identity. They defined us only in the name of daughter, mother, wife and so on. We never got oppertunity to live our own life only in the sake of ourself. We always live and laugh in the name of daughter, wife and mother.  But i am still searching for own identity. Pondering for same dream where there is land for running and sky for running.

I am so much influenced by one saying,” Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” We female are always become option. We never became the center. We are harshly dominated by patriarchal society. We are always option for society. But now i have been observing some positive change because the society has been changing.But as a women, we can able to experience different type of life in a single life. We feel unique experience in the first mensuration period. Even we feel different kind atmosphere at the first day of marrige. We feel more mature and grown up after being a mother. So, we have many challenges in our life but we can get lot,s of unique and fantastic experience.

Female experience and world is far more different then male’s world. Because female world is always full of love, care, compassion,respect and kindness. We never able to become cruel. We always wants to make our world beautiful. But male,s world is full of cruality,betryal, domination and egoism. Male never able to give loves. So male and female are opposite creature of this universe. But perfect combination of both of them makes greater world. So, both gender have to respect each other although they have different world.

Oh no I talked so much about my own experience as a women. But still i am not able to get the answer of who am i? So, life is so mysterous for me.

Beauty Versus Me

Beauty Versus Me

I would never able to understand that external beauty worth so much. From childhood, I keep on believing that beauty is beyond the skin deep. My mom always taught me how to be proud of my blackness, my femaleness and therefore my inherent ability to rise after being stuck down. But outer reality is far more different than my belief system. So, it ruined me in a great agony.

My mom never gave me any suggestion, tips or lesson about how to be cosmetic beauty. She never told me you have to be a beautiful. She always wants to make me bold, courageous, intellectual and better human being. Nothing more than that. So, at the age of teenage, I would never realize that, I am not beautiful. I am not average looking girl. Infact, I am quiet  below than average looking. But after fifteen i could able to realize those things with the people around me. I encountered with the people who believe on external beauty. When I came to know that people saw me from different point of view than other average looking girl. At that time I was in great conflict. Many times I had questioned myself being like that is my fault? Infact there is no greater agony then bearing an untold story inside us. So, I am going to explore or confess my conflict towards the people who think that beauty is skin deep.

In my childhood,I would never heard that I was not beautiful. I passed my childhood as a average Nepalese child. My parents never gave me any glimpses to awaire about beauty especally physical structure. Actually,they provided me all the opportunity, love and respect which I ought to be. Especially my dad have lot,s of over expectation from me. I don,t know I will able to fullfill or not. He always dreamed me something more than ordinary Nepalese women. He wants to see me in the position like Indira Gandhi, Sailaja Acharya and so on. For him, I am the ground breaking women who have potential to challenge the world. So, they never give emphasis on physical beauty.

After SLC, I moved on Kathmandu for further study. Before that I couldnot realized that Kathmandu was so much cruel then my hometown. I started doing plus two in Rehdon college, Samakhushi. At that time I was living with my Uncle and Aunt. But the relatives of my Aunt who came into the home sometimes talked about my physical structure. They told with my Aunt how ugly she is. At that day First time I realized that physically I am not good looking. That made me furious as well as unhappy. At that time I thought why people raised me question where there is no any fault of me. They could have right to asked about my education, my performance. But why people questioned on those things where I could not do anything. So, in those days I was in great mental dilemma.

Similarly, I had completed my plus two with good marks. My father became so happy. I could saw that happiness eyes. After that I joined St.Lawrence College for further study.But day by day I pondered into depression because of people,s comment on my outlook. People in microbus or in the way teased me , laugh at me indicating my physical structure. That ruined me a great depression. In those days, I was in hyper stress. I want to share one incident when I was on the way to college. At that time one of the stranger asked me How much thin you are? Do you have any physical problem? That hurt me so much. I heard many times those type of question. But one of the good aspect of those days was I got amazing friend. Especially Shova, she is my great friend ever. She always told me that :- Dear! You have more potential  so-called foolish beautiful girl. Her persuasion always made me felt good. She always told me you had more courage to pass long and difficult journey. In my lifetime, I have two greatest friend ever. They are Sarika and Shova. Sarika taught me lesson of courage and Shova taught me lession of calm. I could not able to forget Zelation Sir and Shova Mam as well. They gave me courage to fight with those type of damn people.

When I was in B.A third year one of the teacher also deal with me so vogoursly. I don,t want to tell his name because  I only call the name of those whom i respect. He never included in my dictionary. He was a photography teacher. One day he told us that he could abe to told the future of other by seeing others face. All of my friend were stand in front of him turn by turn. He told them that you were going to be teacher, professor, journalist and so on. I did not want to go in front him. But all the friend forced me. When he saw my face suddenly he had changed his gesture and told me you were going to be a shopkeeper. The word shopkeeper strikes me so much. Whole day I felt so guilty and unhappy. But finally I could able to assumed that he had predicted by seeing physical beauty of student. Many times he had made me outsider in classroom activity as well. Even while taking group photo he did not include me. Slowly and gradually I was aware about his inner reality. That event became turning point of my life. After that I realize that I should have to made my own destiny and future to challenge this world.

Recently, in early days of this semister some of my classmate teased me indicating my physical structure. That made me sad. But suddenly I realize that they were also product of society. I thought they were the stereotypical member of this society. So, I forgive them and moved on from that disgusting event.

Actually, now I am happy whatever I am. I know beauty is beyond the skin deep. Sometimes when people teased me, laugh at me and made me as a part of fun is a disgusting way. Focusing on my physical beauty made me furious. But now a days I laugh at them seeing their ignorance and poor knowledge about beauty. When I read about Helen Keller, Parijat, Virginia Woolf, Vincent Van Gaugh, Ghamak Ghimire. I feel relief because they defined beauty by their work not by the appearance they have.

At last I want to say don.t judge the book by its cover. Beauty is also like a book. So don.t judge people by their physical structure or by only seeing with naked eyes. Till the date. I am searching for safe land where I have complete right to run with my own dream. So, I want to challenge myself with my beauty.

भूईफूलको सपना

भूईफूलको सपना 

हिजो गुरुले चन्द्रमा छुने
सपना देख भने
आज आमाले आकाशमा
पुग भनिन्

तर म जमिनमै छु
कसरी पुग्न सक्छु चन्द्रमामा
म त धर्तीमै छु
कसरी सोच्न सक्छु आकाशको बारेमा

बरु म देख्न सक्छु
फूल, चरा, जमिन र चराचर जगतलाई
बरु म छुन  सक्छु
धर्ती, माटो र पानीलाई

 म सपनामा गाऊको घर देख्छु
संसार छोडेका  हजुरबा देख्छु
अछेर  चीनाएकी  गुरुआमा देख्छु
म देख्दीन  चन्द्रमा र आकाश

म देख्न सक्छु छोटा पुड\का सपना
गीनीपिग जस्तो
नाकी टुइनटाओर जस्तो
मेरो सपना भुईफूलको सपना

तिमी

तिमी पहिलोपटक जब यो धर्तीमा पाहिला टेक्यौ
त्यो दिन महिले त्यो ब्यथालाई नी बिर्से
अनि खुशी भए तिम्रो त्यो कोमल मुहार देखेर
मुस्कुराय  मेरो सन्तानलाई भेटेर

परिवारका सबै बेखुशी भए
तिमी पनि मेरै जातीकी पर्यौ भनेर
बंश चलाउने भईनौ भनेर
तर मेरा लागि तिमी संसार चलाउने बिधाता थीयौ

मेरी आशाकी केन्द्र थीयौ
मेरो दिनको सुरुवात थीयौ
मेरो आखाको नानी थीयौ
अनि त्यो पर देखिने जून थीयौ

मैले तिमीलाई सबै थोक दिए
जुन मेरो भागमा थिएन
मैले तिमीलाई सबै सुख दिए
जुन मैले कहिलै भोगीन

म तिमी माथि गएको हेर्न चाहन्थे
म तिमीलाई साएमन दि बुबा , नाइटिङ्गल ,
हिलारी अनि हाम्रै पारिजात जस्तै
भएको हेर्न चाहन्थे

मैले तिमीलाई कहिलै म बनाउन  चाहिन
किन थाहा छ
किनकी म चाहन्थे
तिमी म भन्दा माथि ऊठ धेरै पर

तर आज मैलाई नभनी
तिमीले रोजीछौ त्यो बाटो
तोडीछौ  त्यो पर्खाल
जुन मैले कहिलै चाहिन

तिमीले मेरो संसारलाई धोका दिएर
परको त्यो परलोक रोजिछौ
मलाई एक्लै यूद्धभुमिमा  छोडेर
मलाई एक्लै पृथ्वीमा छोडेर

अब म सक्दिन यो संसार जित्न
जुन संसारमा तिमी छैनौ
भो म सक्दिन आफुलाई बुझाऊन
तिमी बिनाको संसार चीहाउँन

JEEWAN

जब आफ्नै जीवनलाई
पल्लो घरको झ्यालबाट हेर्छु
अनौठो लाग्छ सबैकुरा
नौलो लाग्छ आफ्नै जीवन

चुम्न नपायका खुशीहरु
बिर्सन खोजेका ब्यथाहरु
अनि भुल्न नसकेका चोटहरु
खुल्न नसकेका राजहरु

बोल्न नसकेका वाक्यहरु
लेख्न  नपायका  कथाहरु
सुन्न नसकेका गीतहरु
बुझ\न नसकेका दर्शनहरु

यस्तै यस्तै खोटहरु देख्छु
अध्यारा रातहरु
चीसा सपनाहरु
तिनै सपनाका समाधिहरु 

kahanee

sxfgL

lgh{nf clwsf/L

sxfgLnfO{ hlt nfdf] agflbP klg aGbf] /x]5

klZrdL ;flxTosf ode / epic x? h:t}

cyjf xfd|} l5d]sL d"n's ef/tdf

 b]vfOg] /f]df~rs l6lj l;/Lon h:t}

sxfgLnfO{ sxfgL g} dfGg] xf] eg] l7s} 5

t/ ha s'/f cfp“5 l:jsf/f]lStsf]

ta sxfgLnfO{ oyf{y xf] eGg u|fxf] kbf]{ /x]5

ljZjf; ug{ d'l:sn kbf]{ /x]5

x'g t fact / fiction ljrsf] b'/L 5f]6f] 5 eGg]x?sf] hdft 7"n} 5

t/ klg eGg' / leq}jf6 l:jsf/ ug'{ km/s /x]5

cfh o:t} nfUb}5 cfkm"nfO{ g} sxfgL agfOlbP kl5

/ cfºg} cl:tTjdfly k|Zg ub}{5'

lxhf] cGhfgdf g} a;]sf] k|]dnfO{

cfh af:gf xf] elglbPkl5

clg s/andf u/]/ 5'6]sf] ljjfxnfO{

cg]sy/L k|Zg u/LlbPkl5

jf:tljstf ls dnfO{ yfxf 5 ls p;nfO{

ljjfxsf] cGTo x'g'df sf] eflubf/ 5

Tof] klg dnfO{ /fd|};“u yfxf 5

t/ cfh d sxfgL eP ljgf s'g} syfsf/

km]/L ;flxTodf dnfO{ dgkg]{ ljwf sxfgL g}

Toxf :jtGqtf 5 cfºg} 7Ën] a'¤gsf] nflu

Syf n]v]kl5 n]vssf] ljrf/sf] d[To' x'G5 Toxf“

t/ oxf lagf s'g} n]vs k'g{n]vg x'G5 s;}sf] sxfgL

agfOG5 s;}sf] sxfgL 6'6fP/ km'6fP/ csf]{ sxfgL

ld6fOG5 s;}sf] r/LqnfO{ ljgf s'g} d[To'

clg jgfOG5 s;}sf] hLjgnfO{ Pp6f tragic sxfgL

clg ltdL d / p ag]5f} Pp6f sxfgL ;]S;lko/sf] hamlet h:t}

kasari

s;/L

lgh{nf clwsf/L

s;/L eGg ;S5f} ltdLn]

d;“u lx8 eg]/

cfdfsf] b'wnfO{ y's]/

afa'sf] la:af;nfO{ tf]8]/

s;/L ;f]Rg ;S5f} ltdLn]

d ltd|L dfofn' dfq x“' eg]/

d s;}sL 5f]/L alxgL / lbbL klg t x“'

 s] d oL ;anfO{ TofUg ;s'nf

s;/L afWg ;S5f} ltdLn]

d ltd|f] rf}3]/f leq

p8L“/x]sf] kG5Lh;/L bf}l8/xg] d

s] d aflwg ;s“'nf Tof] hlGh/ leq

s;/L ;f]Wg ;S5f} ltdLn]

d]/f] cl:tTj / klxrfgnfO{

ltd|L cfdf d clg of] wlt{ Pp6} h/fsf af]6x? Xf}“

s] d atfp“g ;s“'nf d]/L clg ltd|L cfdfsf] cl:tTjnfO{

s;/L af]Ng ;S5f} ltdLn]

d]/f] of] k]iff kfk xf] eg]/ d Pp6f gu/aw' x“' eg]/

d eGg rfxG5' ltd|f] d]/f] / of] ;+;f/sf] hGd oxL kfksf] kmn xf]Og / <

clg d s;/L eg" d Pp6f gu/aw' xf]Og eg]/ .

Afno dharti

आफ्नो  धर्ति 

निर्जला अधिकारी

त्यो माथीको पहाडको टुप्पोबाट 
जब आफ्नो धर्ती नीहाल्छु 
चिन्न चाहन्छु त्यो सानो झुपडी 

बुझ्न चाहन्छु आफ्नै पहीचान 

ऒहो मेरो झुपडीलाई त त्यो महललॆ छेकेछ 

मेरो घरबारी छीमेकीले मीचेछ 

मेरो दाजुभाइको बाटो छकेछ 

बस्नै मन छ भने मेरो महलमा आऊ भनेछ 

कसरी भन्न सकेछ त्यस्तो 

त्यो झुपडी मेरो आस्था हो 

मेरो बीस्वासको प्रतिबिम्ब हो 

मेरो  मुटुको धड्कन हो 

 सानै किन नहोस्  लागि बिश्वो ब्रम्हाण्ड त्यै  हो 

झुप्रो किन नहोस् मेरो स्वप्न महल त्यै  हो 

मेरो पुर्खाको पसिनाको चिनारी हो 

मेरा सन्ततिको लागि गरिखाने खेतबारी हो 

मेरा बाबुबाजेले दिएको उपहार समाल्नु छ 

मेरा सन्ततिको लागि संसार बनाउनु छ 

अनि मेरा सन्ततिले त्यही झुपडीमा बसेर बुझ्नेछन् 

जननी जन्मभुमिश्च स्वर्गादपी गरीयसी को मर्मलाई